I really can’t stand valentines day. It drives me crazy. A co-worker ask me the other day “what are your doing for valentines for your wife” Well I’m not doing anything. I tell them that. This person was shocked, surprised and think I’m somehow not a nice person. How could I shun my wife like that on valentines day. It’s a day where I’m supposed to show my love for her. If I don’t do something for her or with her I am somehow not showing my love for her. I’m supposed to do things like buy her flowers, take her out on a nice date, woo her and treat her like a queen. She even told me she will buy my wife a valentines card for me if I don’t and that I shouldn’t be taking her to things like hockey and lacrosse games as a date. She is a woman I am told (thank goodness she told me that I was not previously aware). As a woman this co-worker said she knows my wife wants me to take her to a nice restaurant and that taking her to other places like we usually do for our dates just is not good enough, nor is it appropriate. After all she is a woman and she does not like things like that. She knows because she is a woman as well. Well I Guess I was told and should humbly bow down and accept my reprimand and start treating my wife the way she deserves to be treated.
I could not help but laugh at the insanity of it all. This person was offended that I laughed and was not taking her seriously. I told her I can’t help but laugh because she seems to believe that by virtue of sharing a gender with my wife she somehow proposed to know her better than I do, and so I should listen to her and treat her by her standard of expectations on a day that is nothing more than and excuse for retailers to promote rampant consumerism under the guise of professing your love to your spouse. Something that should be done daily not just once a year.
I guess for these people there is only 1 day a year where they are expected to be treated like a king or queen. The rest of the year does not matter. But hey once valentines day roles around you better make sure you woo your partner all over again.
The thing for me is having a day on the calendar designated to treat my wife like a queen is a ridiculously stupid idea. If we need a day marked to treat our spouses The way they should be treated we need to take a serious look in the mirror and ask ourselves what we are doing wrong. Clearly if that is the case we are a failure as a spouse and have failed in our relationships.
Psalms 5:19 let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
If you notice this does not say “be thou ravished with her love once a year” or “let her breast satisfy thee on one day of your choice or a designated holiday your culture chooses to celebrate” I’m sure there are many more scriptures I could use. The point is valentines means nothing unless you are failing to show your love everyday, in every way. Valentines day is not something that anyone who truly cares about their spouse should really be focused on because if you truly cared about your spouse you would treat him or her with the respect and love they deserve everyday without thought for whether it is valentines day or not
Everyday my wife treats me like a king. Everyday I am impressed with how much she loves me. She does not do anything different on valentines day than she does on any other day of the year. She has it right. She does not need a day on the calendar to show how much she loves me and Neither do I need a day to show my wife how important she is to me. I strive to do that Everyday, in Every way.
Valentines day is nothing more than consumerism and has nothing to do with loving and appreciated your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend. Kids are pressured into buying valentines for there school classes and shamed if they don’t bring one for everyone. Everyone must be loved and adored on valentines day from everyone else. Kids are taught that it is wrong not to give “valentines” at school. Everyone must be included. The pressure to take part in this ridiculous tradition is pounded into us from childhood through school, our media, children shows, news media going on and on with valentines day story’s every February the 14th, mass marketing and advertising.
The purpose in this life is to learn and grow and love. When we find that special person who we will share the eternity’s with then valentines day does not matter, because you will show your love for them year round, everyday, without hesitation. Because that is what we should be doing anyway. And even if we are still looking for that special someone, stop treating Valentines day like it matters. It doesn’t, because you should be treating your boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse with love, and respect every day. If you can’t do that you are not marriage material to being with.
Giving our all to our spouses every day of our lives, selflessly, lovingly and without considerations for our selves is ultimately how we should be living every single day of our lives. If you are living so that your spouse feels loved, admired and respected every day we will not need to have days like valentines day.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles teaches about the love and support husbands and wives should share.
“One of the great purposes of true love is to help each other,” he says. “We can endure almost anything if we have someone at our side who truly loves us, who is easing the burden and lightening the load. … Love is a fragile thing, and some elements in life can try to break it. Much damage can be done if we are not in tender hands, caring hands. To give ourselves totally to another person, as we do in marriage, is the most trusting step we take in any human relationship.”
And he adds: “It is a real act of faith—faith all of us must be willing to exercise. If we do it right, we end up sharing everything—all our hopes, all our fears, all our dreams, all our weaknesses, and all our joys—with another person.”
“True love blooms when we care more about another person than we care about ourselves,” Elder Holland says. “That is Christ’s great atoning example for us, and it ought to be more evident in the kindness we show, the respect we give, and the selflessness and courtesy we employ in our personal relationships.”
Beyond all the reasons I have gone over Valentines day has become a day for business and commercialization. Men are pressured into buying things that won’t last (flowers), giving things that are not good for our women’s health (candy’s and chocolate) and are pressured to live up to a unrealistic expectation. There is pressure out there to woo our women on this day. Not all but some women expect us men to romance them to no end and feed into the commercialization of cards, chocolates, flowers, romantic dinners and such things.
I would ask those women who expect this “Are you content to have your husbands, boyfriends treat you this way only once per year?” if you answer yes I feel sorry for you because you deserve more. If you Answer no then I ask “why then does valentines day have any importance if you expect to be treated with respect, dignity and love every day of your life by your partner” The reality is that if you expect to be treated like the queen you are every day and you are lucky enough to find a man who will, then you have no need to celebrate valentines day.
In our home I en devour to make everyday a day of love and respect, a day to spend honoring and loving my wife. I want her to feel so loved every day that valentines day becomes no different than any other day, I want her to feel so loved that there is nothing that I can do on valentines day that could possibly make her feel more loved than she already is. I want to celebrate our love EVERY DAY not just on valentines day. And you should do the same