I am not a patient person by any stretch of the word. This lack of patients has been a stumbling block for me most of my life. In times when we are most frustrated this can be difficult to overcome. We all have our breaking points in frustrating situations. We also have different ways of dealing with that anger and frustration. We can become violent and aggressive. Some may become quiet and hide away. Some tend to yell and scream. Frustration with others can boil over very quickly for someone such as myself who severely lacks in patients. Children can be the most common frustrating factor. Especially when your child can be a lot like you, little patients and quick to anger.
This is not something I am proud of, but over time I have come to realized that no amount of prayers will change your children. God will often respond to your pleadings to change your children by telling you your child is not the one you should be focused on changing. Or he may simply answer no to your pleadings and wait patiently for you to figure out it’s not your children you need to ask God to change but yourself. Children learn by our example. We tell them not to yell and scream but at the same time sometimes we loose our patients with them and yell at our children. Children can then respond by yelling more at you, and so the problem escalates and no one is happy, everyone is miserable.
Butting heads can hurt after a while. We need to step back and look at the situation and maybe take some time to calm down and to breath. I have had to do this at times. Take the dog for a walk or just step out to compose yourself before dealing with the situation that has been presented to you. Keeping this in mind when you feel yourself getting angry at least for me can at times feel like a impossible task. In proverbs 15:1 we have been counseled “
How often do we remember this when we are feeling angry, frustrated and upset? Do we know our triggers and what makes us angry? Do we fully understand the impact our responses have on those we are angry with? Do our words and actions inspire love, or do they inspire fear and hatred in the other party? Anger in of itself is not a sin, it is a emotion. Christ himself got angry when he threw the money changers out of the temple.
Matthew 21 vs 12-13
12 ¶And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,
Christ, who was perfect, became angry. He overthrew the tables of the money changers and the seats of the merchants in the temple. He declared in his anger that the temple had been reduced to a den of thieves. His anger was directed towards those that bought and sold in the temple. His anger was justified and he responded appropriately. He cleansed the temple. It states he said unto them, not he yelled and screamed at them. Though I imagine he was being quite stern in his lecture on the matter. He likely, I imagine said much more about it than the little bit we read in the scriptures.
Our ability to control our emotions and direct them in a meaningful way is one of the many tasks we are hear to learn. We are emotional beings. These feelings were given to us by our God to be used as a tool to be controlled and used. As an example, our emotions are like a gun. By itself a gun is not dangerous. It can’t hurt anyone just sitting there by itself. It’s just a inanimate object and will just sit there and do nothing till some force acts on it. The gun itself is useless till it is loaded. Like our emotions the gun is always there. Eventually someone like our selves will pick up the gun or emotion and load it into our mind. We then, like the gun can direct that emotion to our target. Emotions like anger can be used to protect. A home invasion will certainly make anyone angry and emotionally stressed. Using a gun to defend our homes is a good use of that weapon, by itself it cannot hurt anyone till we use it. In the home invasion scenario we can simply point the gun or our anger at the subject and they may leave no harm done, but like the gun if our first response to our anger is to lash out, or fire the gun at the one who your anger is directed at we then become the one causing harm instead of using it as a tool to change the situation for the good. If we use the Gun or our anger as tool for making a bad situation better, then all involved will be better off for it.
From April 1971 General conference in the article titled be slow to anger by ElRay L. Christiansen we read
“Not only does intemperate anger affect us physically and mentally, in a negative way, but at the same time it also destroys wisdom and sound judgment. When we become upset, reason is suppressed, and anger rushes in. To make decisions while infuriated is as unwise and foolish as it is for a captain to put out to sea in a raging storm. Only injury and wreckage result from wrathful moments.
When anger rules, tempered judgment flees. Actually, the person who is composed has a distinct advantage over one who is angered. Somewhere I read this statement: “When one is in the right, he need not lose his temper; and when he is wrong, he cannot afford to.
Anger against things is bad enough, but when it is directed against people and it flares up with white-hot fury and caustic words, we have the makings of tragedy!”
Anger is an important emotion that we will all experience over different issues throughout our life. It is not an easy emotion to control or handle. We must remember that we cannot teach our children to control there anger if we ourselves cannot control our anger and frustrations. Anger can help us or hinder us. It can control us or we can control it. I would much prefer to be the one in control. As a wise wizard once put it in a book I read “passion rules reason for better or worse” (Terry Goodkinds sword of truth series, one of the wizards rules). This is a truth we must never forget for “He that is slow to aanger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)