Mother’s Day

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Mothers day has never been easy for me. Almost without fail, I get a phone call or text message telling me to call my mother and wish her a happy mothers day. I go to church and listen to the speakers talk about how wonderful their mothers are and how great all mother’s are. The primary kids get up and sing nice songs about how much they love their mothers. It seems that everyone has a wonderful mother who had such a good influence on them.

Going to church on Mothers day has become a painful reminder of the lack of a mother that I had. I did not have the luxury of having a mother that I could talk About in such a way. I can’t help but feel frustrated and alienated with mother’s day. I don’t feel like I have anything to celebrate. My mother sadly demonstrated more hatred and anger with me than love. My brother and sister escaped this fate. Because I look much like my father whom my mother hated, she directed those feeling and took it out on me for much of my childhood.

This psychological abuse which in a large way contributed significantly to my depression issues as a kid. That eventually lead to significant chemical abuse at the hands of my mother and doctors who force-fed me mind altering chemical concoctions all the while telling me it was good for me. My resentment and anger could not be controlled for long so my mother sought to control me through chemical manipulation of my mind. She hated and resented my father because she could not control him and raised me to believe he was an evil and horrible man who does not care for his children.

I had been lied to, abused, and manipulated by the one person whom I am supposed to revere and love as the example of motherhood. Because of this experience I have come to hate, loath and resent mothers day much to my wife’s dismay, all the while she is compassionate and understanding. I can’t get through mothers day without feelings of anger and frustration and as my wife is not my mother, it is not her I think about on mother’s day considering the constant remember of how great everyone else’s mother is.

This has made it quite difficult to really enjoy mothers day to the extent I should. I would love to be able to get up and talk about how wonderful my mother is. How kind and good she was to me. I would love to be able to say that I love and respect her for all that she has done for me. I can’t do that however and so I can’t stand to hear others talk about it that way.

The biggest problem for me is that this distracts from the one person in my life who has been everything that a mother should be. She in many ways has been what my mother should have been, that is kind, supportive and loving, but she is also been the greatest mother I have ever known.

11 years and 5 months Ago I married a woman in the hopes that she would be a mother one day. 10 years ago she became a mother. She has not ceased to labor in love for our children since then.

That person as you might of guest is my wife. She is a better mother than anyone I have ever known. She is a true mother in every sense of the word. She has been compassionate and patient with our children. That is something that I have really needed in my life. I thank God that she has been such an amazing mother when it comes to caring for our children.

When our first daughter was born I was terrified that I would not be able to successfully raise her. I was terrified that I would treat her like my mother treated me because I did not know how else to raise kids. I was worried that I could not raise her without parts of my mother coming through in the way I deal with her or our other kids.

My wife has kept me on track and helped to straighten my path back to the way it should be when I have strayed. She has kept her promise that If I ever start behaving like my mother she would call me out on it and I thank her for that.

My Wife has consistently demonstrated everything that a mother should be. She has cared for the kids in sickness and health. She has taken the time to sit and listen to what their needs are and helped them in their times of need. Her tenderness and compassion has shown me what a true mother should be. My Wife is incredibly resilient and has managed to care for the entire family when we were all sick and bed ridden. Despite her sickness as well she has gotten up and cooked food for us, put us to bed, did the laundry and everything else a mother does.

She is everything I had ever imagined a mother should be. In many ways she has filled the void in my life that was left baron by my mother who seemed to reject everything that I am. She has managed to make mothers day somewhat bearable as I watch her nurture and care for our children in ways that I never could.

I want to say to my wife thankyou for everything that you have done for me and our children. Thankyou for being the kind of woman I needed in my life, one that has nurtured and loved me for who I am and has not only accepted me but embraced me. Thank you for being the kind of mother you are to our children. Thankyou for loving them and being kind to them. thankyou for your compassion, tenderness and being everything a mother should be.

Without you by my side mothers day would be a day of misery that I do not believe I could bear. Your example of motherhood is one that I look up to every day and what a mother should be. Your example teaches our daughters what a mother should be. Through you they will learn how to love, care for, nurture, embrace and become mothers themselves at some future date.

You have been the best and are the best example that I know of that a mother should be. Through your example you have shown me how to be a better father.  I only wish that I could say that about my own mother. So thank you for that and I know that you will continue to be the mother you are. Our daughters are so lucky to have you as a mother and I hope that you realize just how good of a mother you are. Thank you for being such a Great mother. I love you and could not raise our girls without you to keep me in check.

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2 comments on “Mother’s Day

  1. You need to read the book “A Child Called It” by David Pelzer. He suffered great abuse, neglect and was almost murdered by his mother. He finally escaped when he was removed from his home by social services. It took him years to forgive his mother for the atrocities she did to him. It was his faith in Jesus Christ which helped him to forgive her. When he did he was set free from all the pain, torment and fears he had lived with for many years.
    Forgiveness does not release the tormenter from all the pain they caused an individual. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. If you are unable to forgive, that individual still has power over you. Power to control your feelings, emotions, the way you react to others and treat your love ones. Forgiveness sets you free from their power and negates any control they still have over you.
    Jesus Christ was asked how many times we should forgive, seven times? No, seven times seventy times? Why did he say that? Because he knew forgiveness is the key to living a free from bondage to others. Christ also stated how you forgive others will determine how you are forgiven, if you do not forgive others than neither will Christ forgive you.
    Why did Christ die on the cross? For the forgiveness of our sins. We are the example to others of Christ. We need to forgive as Christ forgives and love as Christ loves. It is not easy to forgive when you have been treated badly by someone. But forgiveness is necessary to live a life of freedom.
    We can not do it on our own strength. But Christ is our strength when we are weak. We can pray and ask him to help us to forgive even if we do not want to or unable to forgive someone. Prayer is the first step in forgiveness.
    Christ came to set us free, so we would no longer be a slave in bondage. We do have a choice, forgive or live in bondage.

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