A couple are fighting on the street. She starts beating him, kicking, hitting, punching … This is hilarious after all he must have done something to deserve such harsh treatment. He must be quite the Jerk. It’s ok he is a big boy, he can handle it. After all he must have done something horrible to her.
A couple fighting on the street. He starts hitting her. To even suggest that she deserves it makes you a victim blamer. He is wrong and she could not have possibly done anything to deserve such an act of violence. What is he thinking. This is horrible that he would do such a thing and he should be criminally charge with assault.
Do you notice a double standard here? I know I Do.
A disturbing scenario has been revealed in this and in the story of A music artist being hit by a women because she did not like what he was doing. This woman was praised as being strong, good for committing an act of physical aggression towards someone. She is praised and adored for this. If he had hit her back however he would have been hated, criminally charged, insulted and threatened, degraded and hated upon. When did it become OK to hit anyone I Ask? When did your gender matter when it comes to physical abuse or violence of any kind? We talk about how it is not OK for a man to hit a woman, why then is it OK for a woman to hit a man? How is that any more just, ethical or morally right than a man hitting a woman? I can’t see any difference. I ask when did this become acceptable?
My Girls are growing up in a world where they are being taught by the world that it is a sign of strength and the power of women that hitting a man is the way to go. She can hit and abuse the men in her life and this is OK, she is just showing how strong of a woman she is. But if he hits you, well that’s assault, wrong, something to get angry about. Some have hated me for saying this but if you’re hitting me I will hit you back it does not matter to me if you are a man or a woman, I will let the first hit slide, but after that I will hit you back to protect myself. That should never be frowned upon but in our culture because I am a man it is wrong for me to defend myself against a woman.
No one should hit anyone except in self-defense, why then does gender matter? Why are we unfairly judging men for doing so and applauding women when the matter is not self-defense? Why does a woman get a free pass but men don’t? This type of violence and domestic abuse towards men is far more frequent than even this study would suggest. I say this because domestic abuse is not limited to physical aggression but rather any action that serves to tear down, neglect or have any behavior towards your partner or others in your household that is not intended to uplift but rather harm your spouse or other members of your household.
I take personal issues with this type of double standard because it suggest that only men hurt women and men cannot be hurt by women. This is not true by a long shot. I have seen first hand domestic abuse within the home directed towards me. Now lest anyone get the wrong idea my wife is an angel sent to earth and has treated me as a king and loved me in ways you cannot imagine. She would not and could not have it in her soul to treat anyone like this. I am looked down on for responding to such abuse because I am a man yet if it were reversed and a woman was responding in the way I have in the past she would be applauded as a strong woman and fighting for her rights. Is this right? Is this just? I say no. I Think we need to understand that domestic abuse while primarily considered between husband and wife is not always the case, and men are as much victims of it as women.
Domestic abuse and violence of any kind whether it’s a man directed it at a women, or women at a man it equally wrong, period. Why then do we tolerate this type of behavior with women directed at men?
To illustrate my point I would like to tell a story about my father in law, this is what happened while my wife was still a girl of about 10 years old living with her father and step mother.
Her dad and step mother were fighting, he was trying to leave the house to cool off. Her step mother blocked the door so he could not leave, her 3 boys and nephew had been encouraged to beat up her father to prevent him from leaving. When he was finally able to leave. He ran down the street to the convenience store at the end of the block without shoes, keeping in mind he has cerebral palsy which makes it difficult for him to walk.
He picked up the payphone while hiding in the corner calling 911 as his step sons were chasing him down the street threatening him with injury and who knows what else. The police finally arrived he told them that there were only 2 things he wanted from back home, his shoes and his daughter.
At this point he was bruised, sore and black-eyed after a brutal assault on his person, instigated by his soon to be ex-wife.
In what world is this kind of thing OK? I can tell you not in my world. Was this woman strong and powerful? Does she deserve praise? I know my father in law and he is a kind man, while he loves to tease he would not knowingly cause anyone harm intentionally.
My father suffered abuse within his home not just after his marriage to my mother but I am quite sure during the marriage as well. He was hounded, harassed, bullied and his reputation was destroyed in the eyes of his children. This too is a form of abuse and domestic violence. My mother was seen as a strong woman for fighting against the evil tyranny of the man she married. It was not till much later in life that I learned that my dad was in fact one of the most humble, kind and loving men I have ever known. His harassment and reputation was undeserved and I have since learned to respect and love him more than any other family member I have known aside from my own children and wife. My dad responded to this hostility by not responding at all. Something I have come to love and respect him for to this day.
I have often heard the excuse and rationalization that because a man is stronger and cause, theoretically at least, greater damage and harm it is not OK for him to hit her. But does this really justify a woman assaulting a man? Is the scale of damage that can be cause justification for abuse and violence? At what point does it become wrong and a problem? How can you rationalize and accept one act of abuse and violence while laughing off another as a non issue?
When all is said and done, it does not matter who is committing the act of violence whether physical or otherwise it is wrong and we should not stand idly by while someone is being abused. We should not hesitate to intervene if a man is being attacked and assaulted by a woman any more than we would have it were a woman was being assaulted by a man.
Disclaimer: It was not my intent and I do hope it was not taken in such a manor to degrade or talk down my mother in this post. My intent was to use the experience as it was seen from my perspective, while I do not have a good relationship with my mother I have not meant to nor do I wish to degrade anyone or paint anyone in a negative light only to show perspective on how things looked to me from where I was coming from.
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