My wife has been the one person in my life that has held me together over the past 12 years we have been married. Often my kids will ask if I love them or not. I will tell them that I absolutely love them but that their mother came first! This is not to say that I love my children any less but rather to emphasize that my wife is the number one priority in my life. Without her my children would not exist. She is the one that I live for and makes our marriage worthwhile.
My wife is a house spouse. Something that is not common enough in our modern era. Because of my love for her I have committed to work hard so she does not have to work outside our home. Being the soul provider for my family of 5, 6 if you count the dog has it challenges and stressors. I have lost count of the times I have been stressed out about messy houses and lack of laundry being done. These frustrations have come out in ways I wish they had not at times. All through that however my wife has been kind and compassionate and understanding.
The Idea of my wife coming before all others should not come a surprise to anyone who professes to love their spouse and she should be and is my priority despite my weaknesses and failings. I have a duty and an obligation to live a life that has her as the central focus to the best of my ability.
We can read in the Doctrine and Covenants “Wherefore it is lawful that he should have one wife, and they twain shall be one flesh, and all this that the earth might answer the end of its creation.” (D & C 49) If my wife is to be as one flesh with me then how can I put anything ahead of my own flesh. What pain she feels, I feel, the joy she feels I feel. We experience all things together. All acts, all things, and all my doings are about loving her.
By putting my wife first it shows that I value her above all else. When my children can see how much I love my wife then they can feel confident in my love for them as well. A leader of the church once said “The best thing you can do for your daughter is to love her mother”
Selfishness is the root cause of divorce. It usually comes down to my needs are not being met. When this happens those involved often will make decisions that Put themselves first instead of their spouses. Every divorce can be boiled down to not putting the other first.
My wife comes first because she was there in my life before my children. My wife comes first because she was the first to commit and join with me in a union into the eternities. My wife comes first because she has given me 3 beautiful children. My wife comes first because she loved me first. All others are secondary to her and always will be.
If it ever came down to it choosing my wife over my children it would be an easy decision, because I have already decided. My wife. That does not mean that I love my children any less. All that means is she is my top priority and she should be.
This is what God intended when he joined Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. For “what God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”.
I think all men everywhere can take the advice found in the proverbs 5: 18-19
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth
This is the kind of love every man out there should have for his wife. When he has this love then she will be his priority just as my wife is mine.
And that is the Gospel according to Andrew