From A Transgendered Friend, Baptized Into The Church

This is a guest post from a good friend of mine who I baptized into the church many years ago. When I learned he/she was transgender felt the need to write about it and wrote Transgendered and the Gospel. I had asked him/her to share with me his/her experience and if he/she would be ok with me putting it up as a guest post on this blog. He/she agreed and now I share with you in His/Her own words what it is like to be transgendered. Enjoy!
Thank You Andrew, for the opportunity to write this post; To anyone who may end up reading this post, My name is Cece Bella Murphy, and I really appreciate the opportunity to share with you and about this tremendous experience that has come forward in my life. I’d like to share with you all about the trials and experiences of being a Trans-Person. Some choose to believe that being transgendered, Transsexual, Trans Identified, is a choice, I’d like to help dispel that myth right here and now. If you take an opportunity to look up the word Transgender on Wikipedia, You will discover that being transgendered, is actually an Identified Medical Condition, that can’t really be a decision for people such as myself.Andrew, As per our conversation before, You and I were sharing that neither of us believe that a person can choose their “Gender” it is something “Hardwired into us”  from birth, I told you that I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE WITH YOU ON THAT PERSPECTIVE, And it is because you are RIGHT. A person’s gender, can not be “Chosen” but a person’s Sex, CAN BE CHOSEN…
 Now to help you understand that let me explain: Your Sex, is the obviously the sexual organs your are assigned at birth, this is something that “often happens inside the womb most of the time”, around month 5 or so… Now a person’s sexual orientation, many believe that this can not be chosen, But how you decide to ACT on your sexual orientation is your choice… But a Person’s Gender, This is chosen around week 5-10 of gestation, when the spine finally fuses, and the brain goes Online. Now to explain the comment of “often happens inside the womb most of the time” There are some people out there who have had even harder times than trans-persons like myself, that are given the title of “Intersex” These are people who may have been born with BOTH SEXES, at birth, or born with One external sexual organ like the rest of us, but a physical body that does not match. I have a close friend who had this experience, and because of their experience, Their parents, chose to have the gender

“Surgically replaced” so very early in life, they had their own S.R.S. or Sexual Reassignment Surgery. Problem with these experiences, is often when parents “Choose a set of plumbing” for their children without their consent, They often end up choosing the WRONG SEX, and the person grows up being just as if not more confused than a transgendered person like myself.I Put this out to anyone who will read it, If you are EVER PRESENTED WITH THE CHOICE of choosing your child’s sex for them. PLEASE DO NOT DO IT, It is WRONG, YOU DON’T KNOW your child’s sex or gender, and until they choose it for themselves, you never will… It is NOT and will not be more challenging for them, you just need to inform them of what is going on down there, and explain that they were born special, But whatever they choose, is their choice, and then if they want to, they can choose to have one or the other removed, or replaced. You WILL DO MORE DAMAGE, if you choose it for them… So Please do not. It is not your right, it is not a Dr’s Right, it is NO ONES RIGHT to choose the Sex of your child, it is theirs and theirs alone…Going Back, YOU ARE RIGHT Andrew, Gender is not a CHOICE, It is HARDWIRED into the person’s experience, and from Month _______ of the pregnancy the person’s “Gender” is chosen… For a lot of people, Their “Gender” and their “Sex” will be one and the same, there is no differentiation between the 2. But for a good amount of people, It will not be “Aligned” and sometimes, like in my experience, it may be identified by a lot of other people, before it will EVER be recognized by the person themselves… We will walk through life, and it can be extraordinarily difficult for us to relate to our surrounding experiences. But Freedom and relief are available.for many people like myself, Although it has taken YEARS for it to be possible, We can finally find PEACE in our own bodies. But the Peace we find inside ourselves, will often be feared and rejected by many other people around us… This is why, Some of us choose to share it with our closest friends and family, and many others do not… Others choose to have the surgeries, and many others do not. But to say that “we choose to be transgendered” I’d like you to consider the following, and then look at the following statistics: 1. To Choose to be transgendered, can often be one of the LONLIEST ROADS anyone could take. To make a choice like this, is often to choose a road where, the majority of people will never “Understand” and you can’t expect them to, Because it’s not in their experience. But to make matters Worse: To Choose to be transgendered can mean to be FEARED AND REJECTED feared to the point where 1 in 3 Transgendered Persons are Attacked and Killed on a Daily Basis, by their own peers, and anyone else “Who doesn’t understand” “They are only Trans” is how it is passed off… We are considered LESS THAN HUMAN, Until the last 11 Years in Canada, We had no Human Rights. So please, Consider this as we move forward, Realize that there are some of us, Who just want the opportunity to “Co-Exist” in Peace and in harmony. We don’t want to have to look over our shoulder, wondering if the person approaching us, is going to attempt to attack and kill us for our choices. And Yes this happens in EVERY MAJOR CITY, even towns throughout Canada, the US, and the world. Just because of deciding that we want to feel at peace with our bodies.My Personal experience has been an interesting one, I’ve gone most of my life, feeling offset by the experience of my sex and gender. I felt I was “Stuck in a role” that never suited me. When my wife and I attempted to have the children we did, Each time we lost them, I felt that more than a piece of me was lost in the process… I often felt that the children’s “Life Force” was ripped out of me… Part of my reasoning in life I’ve discovered more recently that I wanted to “Adopt Children” is because I’ve always kinda felt like I had a “Phantom Womb” and that it was barren. I never really wanted to play the role I was given, I always wanted to “Be Me” I loved playing with hair, I loved getting my nails done, and going for Mani-Pedi’s, I wanted to put on makeup, I wanted to wear skirts, and dresses, and blouses, I wanted to have “Pretty Things” I love to shop, I loved to cook, I always wanted to be a Housewife, I couldn’t stand my hair, any of it… I wanted to be FREE of the “Identification” given to me, Because it never really sat well with me. The Only thing that confused me, was I wanted a “cis-female”, playing the role of a male in that experience, and this went directly against my beliefs and values for a time. (A “Cis-Female/Male” for all who don’t know what that means is an identification of a male or female who identifies with their sex and gender at birth.)

To Wrap up this post, I’d like to finish off by saying I can understand that my friends and family may see me as who they are most comfortable with, I understand that it is difficult to change and or accept, But for myself and for those who identify being a part of this community, please pay us one respect: If we Identify as Male or Female, Please refer to us as our chosen gender. It’s a very stressful experience to have to explain and fight with others to get them to adopt the gender. As I have clearly outlined above we don’t make this choice Lightly, It is a choice that often is “Life or Death” not to be dramatic, but that is the truth. It often will mean that we can end up being alone the rest of our lives, Because it will never really “Make sense” for others, and will find us ridiculed, threatened and even abused and killed. Until we can create enough awareness, and support. But that could be a VERY LONG ROAD, that could take another 50+ years before we see enough positive change.

So Please, If nothing else, Educate yourself, grow your understanding of this “Condition and Experience” and stand with us, as we make these brave steps forward. WE love and respect you, we want to stand alongside you, we want to share in your experiences, and be seen, understood and respected as equals in your and our community. So Instead of going about, being afraid or allowing your “Beliefs” to hold you back from understanding your friend and ally next door. I ask you to PLEASE learn more about this, And help out when needed. Stand Up, Speak Up, and do as many “Religious Books” state: LOVE ONE ANOTHER, Don’t Judge, Listen and Understand. We are all born human, there’s been no documented proof that we know of that indicates that there is anything other than humans on this earth that we know of, and to the best of my knowledge, even with your love of Star Trek, The X-Files, etc, Andrew, We haven’t found any Klingons, Ferengi’s, Vulcans, Aliens, etc yet… There are “Rumors” but nothing to actually prove that case yet. No one that we know of, has Green Blood, Purple Blood, Yellow Blood, or any other color than Red with some white blood cells in it possibly… So Recognize we are ALL EQUAL in the eye’s of GOD, We were all created as HUMAN, SO LOVE ONE ANOTHER, Don’t Insist on “Understanding”

because that is a lost art, that will likely NEVER be fully realized in this dispensation.

ps sorry about the spacing, it just does not seem to working to space it right for me

By Andrew McLean Posted in Orginals