A while back I wrote an article titled Don’t judge me because you disagree with my parenting.
Please read that post for details of the situation I am referring to as those details are important to the situation.
I had thought that I was past that issue but it now has become much more complicated and I have become very angry and frustrated with what this man has done and is doing to my family now. This is what I posted on Facebook recently
“You know what is really frustrating and honestly quite angering, if I was being brought up on criminal charges in a court I have the right to face my accuser with full disclosure of the crimes I am being accused of, and who has accused me of such a crime. It is then the court’s job to prove I am guilty.
However because 1 man at church thinks it is child abuse to restrain my daughter, I am now facing accusation with social services that I am abusing my daughter.
My rights have been stripped and all privacy rights for my personal family life has been stripped. My daughter gets confronted by a complete stranger at school with no notice to us or the school and interviewed to find out if she feels safe at home. She was asked whether we are married or not and who she lives with.
I am angry that I now feel extremely violated and that my children are not safe when I send them to school. Taking her out of school now can be seen as trying to cover up the abuse. Yet leaving my kids in school leaves them and us vulnerable to social service investigation and interviews with my kids without notice and without warrant and there is nothing I can do about it, and without legal representation or myself or my wife present for the interviews.
I have no right to face my accuser who gets to remain anonymous though I know exactly who it was, and I am coerced into meeting with this social worker as refusal could be seen as attempting to cover up child abuse which can lead to having my children taken from me and the onus is on me to prove I am not a child abuser rather than the state proving to me that I am. I am basically guilty till proven innocent. The state has effectively stripped me of my parenting rights and I now have to prove that I am good enough to raise my own children.
I am told by this social worker that “touching your child causes harm and so yes it is illegal”. I am being accused under the child youth and family enhancement act section 2 items D and E which state
(d) the child has been or there is substantial risk that the child will be physically injured or sexually abused by the guardian of the child;
(e) the guardian of the child is unable or unwilling to protect the child from physical injury or sexual abuse;
I asked “how does restraining my child cause harm and where does it say that I cannot touch my children? All I could get it is covered under that section but no where does it say that touching your children is illegal.
I am angry and frustrated and have no faith in social services to really keep an open mind and view this in any other way other than I am guilty till proven innocent.
As for the man who accused me he better keep a long way away from me because I have a mind to show him what abuse really looks and feels like.”
I can’t help but live in fear now of disciplining my kids, and yet if I don’t then that will be grounds for state intervention as well.
I had a conversation with this social worker who came and interviewed my daughter without notice, or consent. I also talked to my daughter about it. It would seem that child services does not see fit to properly identify themselves to children when approaching them. A practice that in my mind seems to be deceptive. A complete stranger approaches my daughter when me and her mother are not around, and proceeds to ask her personal questions about her home and family life while not disclosing who they are and why they are there. If we tell our kids not to talk to strangers then how is this acceptable?
How am I supposed to manage my kids when they are putting themselves or others in harm’s way if I am not allowed to touch them or restrain them.
I had a conversation with my bishop for about an hour last night explaining to him how I feel and how angry I am. His counsel to me was to not go into this on the defensive but how can I not. I feel extremely violated and angry that not only have I been judged but now I must answer to the state and defend the interest of my family because of one mans opinion. Given in secret with no correlating witnesses sought to confirm his version of events.
I don’t deny I restrained her, I don’t deny she stated I was hurting her. I stand by my actions 100%. I did not cause her harm or injury. I am not an abusive man. I love my kids and I will defend my family to the death. I defy any parent out their who can say honestly they have never in their life taken any action at any point that had cause some pain or discomfort to there kids in some fashion. If causing injury can be used to define abuse then vaccinations, circumcision, going to the dentist and many other medical procedures are abuse. My daughter was not injured. She did not suffer so much as a scratch. She was restrained to prevent injury and harm to myself or herself, she was forcibly removed from the church as she was unwilling to leave herself. This is not abuse it is being a parent. You may not like or be comfortable with the situation but that does not make me a child abuser.